“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill
Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog The Fire. Today I’ll be talking about my feelings of failure in different aspects of my life and how intense they can be at times. I’ll also be talking about the remedies to these feelings and the success that is often times right around the corner from temporary defeat. This article will be very self centered, but there will also be more anecdotes of wisdom for you, the reader. Let’s get started, shall we?
So right now, at this point in my life, I feel like a huge failure. There are some things that have taken place that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone because I don’t want people to look at me differently, but they certainly exist. Perhaps someday Michael McCrudden will talk about my hidden failures on his YouTube series Before They Were Famous. I’ve experienced tremendous failure in my 20s as well as tremendous success, but right now the skies are cloudier than they’ve ever been and I’m not quite sure how I’ll make it out of this one. Perhaps some of you can relate.
How Feelings of Failure Effect Our Mindset
I’m a 28 year old man. My birthday was on June 13th. That means that I’m at a point in my life that when I look around I see folks I went to grade school with being successful adults and having moderately satisfying lives and whatnot. I’ll be 30 years old in a little less than two years. Of course, by then I want to not feel like a success (and I’m sure I will) who has not wasted years of his life.
Paradoxically it is your highest self that will fail over and over when trying to climb to the top of the self expression ladder in life.
Sometimes these feelings of inadequacy can effect the way you move through life and your future, if you’re not careful. For example, one thing I need to hurry up and do is get back to school, but I haven’t got a job at the moment and I’m living with my Mom. I have to get certain things in order in my life and I will. I will prioritize and plan and execute my way back on track to success, as I’m sure most people do when faced with adversity. This will require some discomfort and pain, but later on it will be well worth it. So to anyone out there who feels similarly please just be patient.
Hear me when I say patience is a virtue.
Often times when people are feeling like failures they make decisions that limit themselves because of their self limiting beliefs, but you cannot do this! You must ALWAYS believe in the your highest self, because that is the winning self. Paradoxically it is your highest self that will fail over and over when trying to climb to the top of the self expression ladder in life. So keep believing in that higher (insert your name) and just be patient with your current self as you work to bring them out.
Another way failure can affect your mindset can be through trying to find “a way out” of your feelings; i.e drugs, pornography, etc. Respect and love yourself enough to know that bad habits are something you are above. You are above these destructive behaviors because you love yourself. Don’t throw your life away because you can’t deal with life’s inevitable challenges. Instead, find positive, productive ways to relieve your anxieties from failure; i.e boxing, working out, writing, playing chess, video games, etc. My Playstation 4 is one of my most, if not the most, prized possession I have right now. It provides both an escape and a challenge; healthy ways of dealing with stress associated with failure.
Be Kind To People, but Don’t Take Their Opinions Too Seriously
Yes, be kind to those in your life, but don’t take their opinions too seriously. Some people you know may have negative opinions about you based on your choices and the direction you may be headed in your life and the resulting failure you are experiencing, but understand that most great people in this world have taken unpopular routes in life and have become wildly successful. Things happen for a reason! Don’t ever take someone’s opinion too seriously, no matter how much this person means to you. What truly matters is how YOU feel. Also, remember to be kind to your people because it is a mark of great character and they don’t deserve to suffer because of the all the stress you’re dealing with.
Let people know that although you don’t feel or seem like the all-star you know you are you still appreciate them being in your life. Because when you do get to that magical place of success and fulfillment you will want them to enjoy it with you. I can almost guarantee it. So be nice and have some self control.
Success Is Closer Than You Think
Often times failure is just temporary defeat. Don’t ever think that monumental success is forever out of your reach. Even in my darkest, hungriest, and most pathetically depressing of days I still have hope. Hope for my potential and an unshakeable belief in my spirit. In Napoleon Hill’s classic self help book Think and Grow Rich he talks about how failure is temporary and success is often much closer than one might think. He basically says for every magnitude of failure there is an equal magnitude of success. Meaning big failures can lead to huge successes. Just don’t give up! Once you’re there you’ll shine brighter than you ever have in your entire life! I promise you.
So place all those regrets into the lessons folder on your Mac Pro and keep going. Because failure is a part of the process. Instead, focus on celebrating the small steps you take towards victory.