I spent the majority of this morning thinking about why I put myself into the situation I’m currently in. Life hasn’t been so sweet as of late for various reasons, but, nonetheless, I continue on my divine path. I’m still reading Jane Goodall’s Reason for Hope, which always manages to lift my spirits and inspire me. So I’m thankful for that. However, I have these nagging regrets that revisit me every so often about some of the choices I’ve made regarding the ways in which I’ve dealt with people (haters) and my level of dedication to my life’s task. I’m still blown away by the level of disrespect and abuse I’ve received from jealous family members over the years, I can’t believe I let my grades sink as low as they have in college, and I wish I never gotten charged with a DUI in January. I really have so many reasons to be upset right now. But I choose hope, optimism, and gratitude to change my situation; along with another refurbished ingredient. This ingredient is prayer.
Thanks, in part, to my healthy interest in Dr. Jane Goodall’s personal philosophies she has communicated in her biography I’ve chosen to renew my faith and quit listening to high profile scientists who encourage people to be atheists. I used to be this person, but now I see the error of my ways. Because, as far as I’m aware, we can’t prove that a divine spirit doesn’t exist. You may find a YouTube video or read a book where you see a renowned scientist dissuading religious faith, but that can also very well be propaganda. Right now I’m leaning on my belief in a divine power to get me through a troubling time. I feel as though I don’t have a choice. And I’m hoping this belief will guide me into good fortune so that I can turn this situation around.
Science is powerful indeed, but we are only humans; and yes humans are also quite powerful, based on the limited knowledge we have of ourselves in comparison to the rest of this vast universe, but humans are also limited in many ways. And one thing that humans universally tend to share is organized religion. I remember being in my late teens and dedicating myself to the task of reading the entire Bible; a task I never completed, although I attempted it. It was a relatively weak attempt to be honest. After that there were times in my life when I was deeply religious and thankful for the Lord being my protector and guide. Then there were other times in my life when my belief wavered, or was completely non-existent. But when disaster strikes and hope feels lost, I hope there is a God out there looking out for me because apparently no one else will.
When I watch The Breakfast Club videos on YouTube or see browse pictures on Instagram I get inspired by the message on DJ Envy’s hoodies that say “My God vs. My Enemies”. I have people in my life that don’t want good things for me that I desperately need to escape (immediate and extended family), but me being the soft hearted person I am, I wasn’t so successful. I stayed around people who consistently tried to bring me down because I was too nice to say goodbye. They treated me like trash and I too afraid to leave. Now I count on God to guide me and deal with my enemies for me. He told me he would and I’m trusting he will.
My spirituality has also helped me to remove the scars that were caused by betrayal and other traumatic emotional events. I trust that God will help me along my journey to becoming my greatest version and it seems as though I’m right. Instead of being bitter and wishing the worst for my enemies I trust in a higher power and the laws of karma and continue to enjoy my peace. I continue to build and contribute to the lifestyle I’ve always imagined for myself, now with multiple times the effort as before I was affected by senseless people. Spirituality can also be very useful in learning the value of patience. Because great things take time patience is the key to allowing blessings to manifest.
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