This article is dedicated to Paul Campbell who died the second week of December in 2017. He was a friend and a great guy. I am sad to hear of his passing and I consider it an honor to be a part of his life. RIP Paul
Here I am sitting in this room at 1 o’clock AM googling how to be “honorable”. If you’ve read one of my recent articles (Finding My Spirituality) then you would know I ran into some real trouble with the law earlier in 2017. It was a highly embarrassing and devastating event that I brought on all by myself (actually I wasn’t COMPLETELY alone in this, someone sold me the weed). Anyway, this event has led me to ruminate on what it means to be honorable in modern society and if I will ever be able to consider myself honorable once again.
So, of course, one of the first results in Google for how to be honorable was good ol’ WikiHow. I gave it a proper read and discovered I too could be honorable despite my encounter with law enforcement. All I had to do was adhere to 10 simple guidelines. Needless to say, I was thrilled to have this pertinent information at my fingertips, and I’m not being sarcastic. I had ventured to such a low point in my mind that I desperately wanted a way out. I want people to continue to respect and trust me. I want people to enjoy my company. So I will continue my quest to recover my honor.
Being honorable means having strong values that you live by and protect. One of the most important values is honesty. I choose to be completely honest, even though Robert Greene proposes that honesty won’t get you very far in this world. So here are some examples of me being very honest and putting it out there for all the world to see:
- I once had a (highly) sexual encounter with a person of the same sex because I was curious and wanted to see what all the hype was about being gay. I hated it.
- I have quiet obsessions with women whom I feel will never love me back, at least not properly. And I stalk them online because I’m single and terrified of being alone.
- I don’t drink alcohol because I don’t like the taste and I don’t like watching sports because I think it’s very boring.
- Finally, I have no clue what I’m doing with my life and it secretly drives me insane.
Honesty. As honest as I’m willing to be right now. The rabbit hole can go deeper, of course. But I figured I’d try this because I want to be an honorable person. Who knows, maybe someone can relate.
To be honorable you must commit to your commitments. It ain’t always easy but it’s what you do when you have priorities. There have been times in the past when I haven’t committed to my commitments and it only ended up hurting me later down the road. When you say you’re going to do something you have to do it. Even when you don’t feel like it or the timing couldn’t be worse. When you commit to something or someone then you must stay committed. Commitment will take you far in life so be committed.
Hard work beats talent when talent won’t work hard. That’s the truth. I work hard so I can become my greatest version and it feels good. It feels good to work so hard at something and get better and better at it. All the while your character is improving as well. Humility and hard work go hand in hand so when you meet someone is full of themselves because of their accomplishments chances are it’s just a front. They’re probably very insecure on the inside and suffer from imposter syndrome. Not me, well, at least not anymore haha. I work hard on researching scientific concepts because my goal in life is to make a major discovery someday. My “why” is strong and bold and I have some excellent life experience behind me to guide me toward this lofty goal. Who knows, perhaps I’ll win a Noble Prize if I’m lucky.
So work your butt off if you want to call yourself an honorable person. Because you get nothing without struggle and hard work. Work your hardest at something you love for a good week or two and tell me how much your mindset improves. Once your mindset improves the rest will follow. Once the rest follows you’ll come back to my blog and subscribe to more motivation. WORK HARD
Practicing empathy is something that’s also at the core of my values. I can recall times when I barely had a dollar to my name and saw people sleeping on the sidewalk in the middle of the night in Center City, Philadelphia and I still reached in my pocket to give what little extra dollars I had. Chances are this person didn’t know where this money came from, but being that they were covered in sheets on the sidewalk I’m sure they would have appreciated it. And if I were in their shoes, which often times I’m not far from, I’d want the same kind of empathy for myself. Care about people. Help people in need. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. A great book I started, maybe you’ve heard of it it’s called How To Win and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, starts by talking about how effective it isn’t to criticize people. Go check it out sometime.
Based on the observations of many people this world lacks empathy. We need to care more about each other and lift each other up. That is how one becomes honorable. It is understood, however, that we can’t have too much empathy as people take advantage of weakness. Too much of anything can be harmful just ask the lab rats scientists have tested to see if it is possible to overdose on marijuana (they were given an extremely high amount of THC and ended up sleeping for three days). But first and foremost have empathy for your fellow man.
Honoring the Deceased
Back in May of 2011 my cousin Omar died at the age of 26. He was young and I miss him dearly. He was someone I looked up to and I appreciated his company. He was like a big brother to me. I wish he were still here. Now just last week a childhood friend of mine and community member has died at the age of 28?*. It’s very disheartening to hear of his death and I remember the times I spent with him as a kid fondly. He was a great guy and was still my boy even when I was an asshole sometimes.
It’s important to respect the dead because death is sacred and permanent. It would be my honor to attend Paul’s funeral on Friday to show my respects and condolences to his family, although I haven’t seen them in over a decade. I’ll pay it forward by showing up and lending a shoulder to cry on.