Learning To Forgive Yourself and Move On Without Lowering Your Standards

Have you ever found yourself in a very regretful place in your life? A place where you look back and think to yourself “Wow, I really wish I would have done what I knew I should have done but didn’t have the strength to at the time”, or “I shouldn’t have done that”? I have. I’ve made bad decisions in which the consequences where quite costly and I didn’t know how I’d make it out. Speak of the devil. That’s kind of where I am right now.

But I’m here to tell you, you can move on and still become your greatest version even with the flaws of your past. Granted some people’s pasts are more troubling than others and becoming your greatest version is exponentially harder the worse your past.

So I can only speak from my experience.

But over the time you spend thinking about what went wrong and what you truly want your life to be, with deep insight and life-experience, you may just be able to get back on track and be better than you were when you made the bad call. Let me tell you a little more about my personal experience dealing with making a bad decision, suffering the consequences, how it affected me, and what I plan to do the fix the situation.

My Personal Experience

In college, in South Carolina, I was very ambitious and eager to learn. I had a great opportunity in front of me and I was hell-bent on making the best of it. However, there were people in my life that didn’t belong who were very close to me and I didn’t let them go. I had never really lived without their support and I was afraid of cutting ties, even though there was constant abuse. I look back on my decision to stay around people who were toxic towards me and I sulk in disappointment in myself as well as them. Had I just listened to my gut I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in and would be a lot further in my career. I also might be a role model to people to escape abuse and live a full life. It was a terrible decision and it affected my impermanent life in many ways.

At this present moment, I sit up at night regretting the choice I made and lack of confidence I had in my decision to do the right thing. Yes, the right thing would have been excruciatingly painful, but necessary. Very very necessary. Instead of spending my time watching YouTube videos about dealing with big mistakes and googling the same thing, I could be living my dreams without all the wasted time in self-loathing and poisonous relationships with bad people. It’s a lesson I won’t soon forget.

Now I’m focused on correcting my mistake at all costs so that I can become my greatest version and live a full life because I am currently in lack and desperate to find a way out. I look back on my bad decision with the maturity and wisdom I have now and rightfully shake my head at my choice, but perhaps this was all part of the plan. Perhaps this was all part of the flow of life and the direction it is pushing me in. The more I think about what the future has to offer once I make the necessary adjustments to my life I feel certain I can make a full recovery from the situation, and then some. It’s a lesson, not a life sentence.

Don’t Be Controlled By Your Past

The lesson is to not let your past control you. It was a lesson, not a life sentence. Make the adjustments and keep truckin’. Never give up. It was just a learning experience.

Once you make the decision not to let your past define you you step into your true potential and personal freedom. You will see how much your mindset improves and you will also improve. Once your life begins to significantly improve it is up to you on how far you truly desire to take it. It can be challenging to forgive ourselves for bad decisions (especially when you know it wasn’t right, to begin with) but you must. However, this does not mean there aren’t consequences for our actions.

Actions have consequences that we must live with. This is our karma. The choices you make will shape your life and you must live with it. Remember, karma is neither good nor bad, it is simply a consequence. The better you are at accepting and dealing with the consequences while keeping your eyes on improvement the better your life can become. Once you are able to accept the past and yourself completely you can then move on to a brighter future than you may have even thought possible. The most important thing to take care of is your mindset.

Dear Past

Know Yourself and Know Your Worth

As you begin to move into the bright future you’ve got going for you, it’s important to be wise. You must know yourself, your worth, and have the wisdom to navigate the life successfully. It’s likely that you will make more mistakes in the future, but that’s ok. Just as long as you learn and grow from them.

-Isaiah Dix


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